


Silent Treatment (and how to break it)

by viv_likes_stars



Series: Vivv's Stony High School AU's [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bisexual Steve Rogers, Bruce Banner & Tony Stark Friendship, Bruce Banner Is a Good Bro, Christmas, Christmas Dinner, Christmas Eve, Christmas Fluff, Christmas Party, Clint Barton Is a Good Bro, Cuddling & Snuggling, Domestic Avengers, Domestic Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Enemies to Lovers, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Friends to Enemies to Lovers, Friends to Lovers, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M, Natasha Romanov Feels, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, Party Games, Protective Steve Rogers, Romantic Fluff, Sleepy Cuddles, Steve Rogers Feels, Thor (Marvel) is a Good Bro, Tony Feels, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Has Daddy Issues, Tony Stark Has Issues, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Touch-Starved, idk what else to say, maria Stark is dead lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:22:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27708290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/viv_likes_stars/pseuds/viv_likes_stars
Summary: Christmas Dinner, except it's not just Steve his mom and his friends, his ex best-friend from childhood somehow ended up at the table too.I'm awful at summaries but it's a fluffy get together fic
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Series: Vivv's Stony High School AU's [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2033428
Comments: 4
Kudos: 144





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I just had a huge Calculus exam, it's exam season. But I finished it! It went okay. It's 1:58am right now but thanks to COVID school schedules I don't have any classes tomorrow. 
> 
> It's not my best work but, I wanted to post it anyways, I don't hate it. It might later. Either way it's unedited but it's fluffy and wholesome. 
> 
> <3 Vivvy

The cold air was nipping at his cheeks, and of course his bare arms. Tony'd banked it the moment his dad started getting drunk, well drunker than usual. He'd ignored the yelling as he left, because honestly it was better for the guests to see that than to see Howard go on an eight year tangent about his son's worthlessness. 

And as he found himself walking in the tiny snowflakes he began wondering if that liquid was a truth serum. Drunk words are sober thoughts right? 

His mom always said the opposite. But she wasn't here anymore. So it didn't really fucking matter, did it? 

Natasha had given him an address. They weren't super close, but they were friends. She'd told him if he ever needed anything to go there. And so obviously he assumed it was her house. He didn't feel like intruding, it was Christmas eve, but she'd mentioned living alone (which he found out you can legally do at 16 [which he later was disappointed to find out was only possible if you were officially emancipated]) and he was getting cold. His hands were numb and he could barely open his phone to the address. 

It wasn't far from the banquet hall they'd been at. 

They never hosted Christmas parties at their own house, god no, with Maria gone they didn't even decorate. December twentieth had been her two year death anniversary. And it was taking a toll on Howard. At least Tony hoped that was the reason he was drinking more than usual, he didn't want to visit the grave with his son-- which was heartbreaking to hear especially after Tony spent three entire god damned days getting the courage up to ask, and in the blink of an eye all that hard work was worthless. 

He opened his phone and scrolled through his recent messages from Natasha. She was one of the five people who'd offered him condolences on the twentieth. Rhodey, Pepper, Natasha, Jarvis and Ana. That was kind of depressing, they'd been friends for about two months and she'd been one of five. 

Tony bit the inside of his cheek pushing thoughts of his mother away. It was hard enough already, he was losing his Italian already, and he'd almost forgotten her smile, her touch, her humming, and the way she'd always send him apologetic looks when Howard was yelling. Now he just stood still and listened, no comfort, no warmth. Their house got even colder, which Tony didn't think was possible. 

He'd luckily arrived as a family was leaving, it was still fairly earlier, only seven thirty. Tony couldn't help but snort, his father was wasted and it wasn't even eight yet. God. Maria would be turning in her grave. He slid through the door as the family was busy fussing over one of the childs coat, desperately trying to convince the girl to do up the little black buttons. 

He entered the elevator, he knew he looked like a wreck. The running shoes, dress pants, and dress shirt with a ripped collar. Howard rarely got physical but he'd clawed at Tony's jacket as he headed out the door. Truly it wasn't as big of a scene as it sounded. The coat room was seperate from the main banquet, so it wasn't quite the show that the guests (probably, no, particularly Justin Hammer) signed up for. Not that there ever were huge scenes, maybe when Tony was fourteen and he was caught with a couple too many bottles of champagne, either way he'd just lost his mother and he didn't think it was right that anyone should be drinking champagne. It was a celebration drink. So he drank it, celebrating how fucking terrible his life had gotten. But his looks didn't really matter right now, he'd go in crash at Nats and get home before Howard woke up, it wasn't like he'd remember the evening anyways. 

He exited the elevator at the fourth floor and walked down the wood floor. He hoped he wasn't tracking in too much snow. He tried wiping it off in the main lobby, but his shoes were icy and the ice was melting. 

He raised a frozen hand up to the door and knocked lightly, stomach flipping like a bitch. He took a step back from the door hoping that Nat was going to be on the other side of the door. He thought about the phrase, it wasn't 'this is my address'. What if he genuinely was only supposed to go there if he really needed help. What the hell was he doing? He was turning around to walk away as the door opened. 

"Tony?" A voice called. 

It was a low voice. A soft one, a familiar one, no, a very familiar one. Steve. Fuck. 

"Oh- um- hi" he said awkwardly turning back around. He wondered how dishevelled he looked, because suddenly it mattered. When he looked at Steve's face he realized they were probably wearing the exact same face. Confused. Why was Steve here? It was Christmas, he should be with his family, no? He would be with Sarah. And their extended family (if they had any, Tony never really figured that part out). He knew he was friends with Nat, but to be at her house for Christmas seemed a little random. 

"Why're you at my house?" Steve said blatantly his big blue eyes gazing at Tony's outfit "please tell me you're not drunk- it's not even eight yet-" 

"No I'm not- I'm looking for- your house?" Tony said as it sunk in. Now he was even more confused. He glanced quickly at the little plate under the doorbell. Rogers. Of course. Why would Nat give him Steve's address?

"Yeah, we moved, about a month after-" Steve's voice trailed off "I guess you never saw- yeah, um who were you looking for they might be in one of the other units-" 

"Oh, yeah- right that-, I'm looking- just, uh Natasha" Tony muttered struggling to keep eye contact. He was just as fucking breathtaking, which was absolutely terrible. 

They'd been friends. Inseparable. And then Tony stopped talking to Steve. It wasn't unintentional, and it wasn't really because he wanted to. It was the year his mom died too, that year just was shit all round. But the Steve thing happened before that. If it had happened after he doubted Steve would've let him push him away that easily. It almost hurt how easily Steve let him push himself away, but god did Tony really expect to put that much responsibility on him? He was fourteen at the time. Tony wouldn't have been worth the energy anyways. 

"Oh-" Steve said in an odd voice. It sounded a little bit hurt, or maybe just confused. 

"I'm look- I just- I should go you should enjoy your Christmas-" Tony said with an awkward smile. 

"Do you have a jacket?" Steve asked awkwardly. Their conversation was choppy, uncomfortable, but god did Tony melt when he heard that stupid tone. The one laced with concern and a little bit of judgement, as if Steve was slightly amused by his dumbassery. 

"No- I'm, I don't know why Nat would've- but I should go" Tony said taking a step back. Steve grabbed his wrist, and his body betrayed him as his breath hitched... audibly. He could feel his face heating up. It wasn't even that it was Steve, it was partly that of course, but it had been a while since somebody had touched him. Since the whole kiss incident he and Pepper were on a no-touching rule, and Rhodey was at MIT. Which wasn't incredibly far, but he was at school either way and neither had the opportunity to visit the other yet. 

"Nat's here just wait" Steve said with an awkward smile. Tony nodded standing in the doorway. 

Steve lingered for a second "are you guys-?" He asked meeting Tony's eyes with a specific look. Tony felt like he was being sized up. As though Steve felt- correction- knew he wasn't good enough for her. 

"No" Tony said with a laugh "no, yeah no-" he added looking down at his feet. He felt over dressed which was so fucking stupid because he wasn't even doing anything. Steve's ass looked good in those jeans, he noted as the boy turned around, and that was exactly the reason they'd stopped being friends. It was too god damn complicated. Especially at the time with the whole 'I swear to god if you're a fucking pansy, if I see you with a boy or frolicking around-'. Tony scrunched his face up at the memory. It still made him uncomfortable, as hell. So he tried to date girls, it wasn't that he didn't like them, most of the time he found them gorgeous, he usually liked their personalities, would love to date them, but he was always hung up on stupid Steve Rogers. 

"Tony" Nat smiled approaching the doorway. "Is everything alright" She added in a lower tone furrowing her brow slightly remembering the message she sent. 

"Yeah, just, I don't know my dad was drinking I panicked- I didn't grab a- yeah, just- I don't know but I told Steve I'd just leave but-" 

"Nonsense" A third voice called, Natasha stepped out of the doorway.

"No way you're showing up on my doorstep without a jacket and leaving before warming up- on Christmas never the less"

Sarah Rogers. 

"It's been a long time Anthony" She smiled. 

Tony bit the inside of his cheek at the name. He obviously didn't correct her though. 

"Yeah it has" he said with a soft smile. He felt a lump growing in the back of his throat and he didn't want it there. "I've missed you Mrs. Rogers" he added with a small chuckle. 

"That's still Sarah to you Tony" She smiled warmly before reaching forward, and before he could protest he was being pulled into a hug. Natasha had wandered off, not wanting to intrude on whatever moment was happening there. However the two of them were still very clearly visible from the living room couches where a fairly large group of people were sat playing a board game. Steve was staring at Tony with a calculating look. He looked uncomfortable. Steve pursed his lips. And then something happened that Steve really hadn't expected, his Mum was hugging Tony and he started crying. Well, not physical tears, but close to it at least. What the fuck was happening. He stood up almost immediately. Seeing the wide eyes filling with tears was kind of a blast to the past and Steve was most certainly the nostalgic type.

He was standing awkwardly by the door as his Mom pulled away.   
"I have to get back to the turkey- are you alright dear?" She asked looking at Tony's face.   
"Yeah" Tony laughed with a forced smile "Yeah, no I'm fine, just, you know, um dust"   
Sarah shot a concerned look before walking back to the kitchen. There were two boys in the kitchen as well. One of them Tony recognized as Bruce Banner, he'd never had class with him, but he'd read some of his project reports and he'd been meaning to talk science with him. The other was that exchange student Thor. Born in Norway to Australian parents, apparently they though it would be hilarious to name their kids Thor and Loki. Tony felt bad for the latter of the two. Although it could have totally been a rumour. 

On the couch was Natasha, and Clint Barton. He'd talked with Clint a few times, he was funny but Tony had this sense he wasn't a huge fan, and if he was close with Steve that would explain it. 

Steve was staring at him. 

When did he get so close. They were like two feet apart. What the hell. 

"So what's with the water works?" he asked plainly. 

And Tony's stomach flipped. Tony almost snarked with a 'you know how my mom died a couple years back? yeah that' but he was already walking a thin line of being kicked out and he didn't need to make it thinner. He was kind of surprised Sarah was happy to see him, he wondered if Steve had told her anything. He could've said something clever, he knew he was capable of it, but maybe when he wasn't taken by surprise, or you know in front of Steve. He started stammering out a word but stopped himself when he realized he was about to say 'hug' and leave it at that like some stupid kid. 

"I don't know" he replied dumbly, quickly tucking his hands into his pockets. 

"You don't know? Well, um, why are you here?" Steve asked for the second time that night. 

"I was looking for Natasha" Tony replied. 

  
"No, I mean it's Christmas Eve, you guys eat Christmas dinner on the 24th-" He replied as if it were obvious. Steve always thought people knew what he meant, and of course if they didn't it was their fault. 

"Oh, yeah, um" Tony glanced around "I left- it wasn't really-" 

Steve nodded furrowing his brow. 

"We're playing board games you can come-" Steve added. Ironically as Tony sat down the boys came back from the kitchen. 

"Kicked out, apparently cooking here works differently than it does in Norway- did you know in-" 

"I didn't and I don't want to know, let's play never have I ever" Clint said sitting up on the couch. 

"That was rude Clint-" Steve scolded. Tony had his back against an ottoman with his knees pulled up to his chest. They were all in cheesy christmasy crewnecks. It was cute. It was kind of everything he wanted. He wasn't thinking about how he lost all of this. It was better the way it was. He would do nothing but disappoint Steve over and over again, and he really couldn't live to see that. Or he'd be unable to get over his stupid crush and his dad would find out and things would get a hell of a lot worse. Or Steve would find out and things would get a hell of a hell lot worse. 

"Alright, um, things we haven't done" Nat smiled sitting up. "Never have I ever forgotten a friend birthday" She said in an accusatory tone as Thor, Bruce, and Clint all tucked fingers down.

"We're still sorry about that-" Bruce piped up.

"It's fine, it's the fourth of July" Steve laughed kicking his feet out in front of him. "and I wasn't even in town" he added. 

Tony hadn't forgotten anyones birthday. He had not wished someone a happy birthday quite a few years in a row but they weren't friends at the time. 

Most of the following ones had been suspiciously targeted at other members of the group. 

"Tony" Nat smiled nudging him slightly. 

"oh, um, yeah, never have I ever caught on fire" he said quietly. 

"That was your fault" Both Nat and Steve said. 

Tony looked up, he forgot he lit Steve on fire one year. 

It was Steve's tenth birthday. Someone called his name and he'd turned around knocking his elbow into the cake, it was a mess to say the least, especially when the candle caught onto the bottom of Steve's shirt. 

"Huh, so this is a trend Stark, remind me to not let you near bunsen burners ever again" She said cutting the awkward eye contact Tony and Steve were making. 

"Never have I ever called a waiter mom" Clint said staring deeply into Bruce's soul. Bruce was the first out thanks to that one. Only after a bit of protesting and a couple 'no it wasn't targeted I wasn't even there' 's 

And the game continued, Thor was out next, then Clint, then Natasha. Steve and Tony. It was Steve's turn they were at two fingers each. 

"Never have I ever completely stopped talking to a friend and-" 

"Dinner's ready" Sarah cut over the increasingly awkward round of never have I ever. "Tony, are you joining us?" 

"Oh- um, no I should probably get going-" 

"Family dinner?" Bruce asked standing up. He too had been wanting to talk with Tony about some experiments. He'd been meaning to for a while but it was kind of hard to approach him especially when he always had earbuds in. 

"God no" Tony snickered letting it come out before he meant it. "We don't do- I mean, no, just not- yeah- I should probably get going now though" 

"Did you walk here?" Sarah asked Tony as the rest of the group began carrying plates of food to the table. 

He nodded "It's really not that far-"

"I'm more worried about you being late for your father" She laughed slightly, Tony's dad had been controlling even when he was a young kid. 

"Oh, he's so far gone right now" Tony laughed It came out naturally "yeah he won't be home until five probably tomorrow-" he stopped abruptly when he realized what he was saying. 

The stupid Rogers family, all of them had the tendency to make him projectile vomit emotions and words he'd been intending to guard. 

"Steve set another plate" She called. "Tony, I know your uncomfortable, you've always been a little bit anxious but-" 

Tony bit the inside of his cheek anxious? Damn it. He hated the fact that she knew him. He sometimes wished he could erase his existence. "It's more, you know guilty" He laughed awkwardly in a jesting tone. 

Sarah gave him a soft smile "I think it's just important that you're here now, yeah? It doesn't matter how you got here, or how long you've been gone. He's missed you" 

Tony's heart was pounding, accelerating more as Sarah patted his shoulder. 

Was this what it was meant to be like, you know having parents. 

His mom was better than his dad but she wasn't particularly affectionate. It had been clear since childhood that his parents had not intended to have children. 

He met Steve's eyes briefly. He could tell Steve kind of wanted to yell at him, maybe give him a three hour lecture about how terrible of a person he was. Which would be ironic because that was exactly the reason he did what he did. 

He walked over to the table, to seats at the head of the table open and he froze. Nervousness rising up his throat. Sitting at the head of the table was uncomfortable. He'd always hated it. All eyes on you, you kind of looked like a dick, or attention seeking. It suited peoples perceptions of his personality too well. Intruding on a family Christmas dinner and taking the fucking head of the table. 

He stood there awkwardly in the open archway. 

Steve gave him a look with a raised eyebrow. Tony offered an uncomfortable smile and he turned his gaze back to his socks. 

He heard a chair move. "I guess not all of us grow out of having a favourite seat at the table" Steve murmured. 

Which honestly now made him feel bad about not just taking the god damned head of the table. "I guess" he replied awkwardly sitting down. His favourite seat at the table was actually currently occupied by Thor, and in the knew house the table was facing the wrong direction, but he wasn't going to correct Steve when he was in such a pissy mood. (which Tony knew was his fault-- classic) 

"I have a favourite seat at the table back home" Thor piped up. Tony was grateful for it. Thor went on to describe a table for about two minutes as people passed food around. Tony served himself last, because he wasn't meant to be there. He could fake a call from his dad, but he'd already exposed his dad as being a raging drunk, so that was no longer an option. He was about to fake a call from his mom and than he remembered, so that was unfortunate. He thought back to it. Steve was at his moms funeral. Tony thanked him for coming, he couldn't quite remember if they hugged. 

Steve seemed to be a little less bitter when Nat, Bruce, and Tony started talking about a recent Physics lab. He hadn't pegged Natasha as a scientist, but the girl was full of surprises and far smarter than she let on (and she let on that she was a straight A student) 

They began sharing stories, Tony mostly listened, they were all recounting how they found out Santa wasn't real. 

Clint's was grim, his parents had been fighting and just completely forgot Christmas existed. Nat's ballet teacher told her when she was six. Which Tony felt was a little harsh despite being told by his father the same year (it was different when it was a parent though right?) Bruce found out when he was ten because of common sense apparently. Thor said his younger brother told him. Steve couldn't remember. 

"That's why I'm at the table" Sarah teased. "It was Tony actually"

The head's turned to face him. 

Steve snorted "I actually remember now-"

"I was mad at you" Tony mumbled his face burning up. 

"And you told me Santa wasn't real, which is pretty horrible-" 

"I prefer the term in character, and, you called me a jerkface so I think you deserved it" Tony laughed. 

"What were we fighting about?" Steve asked. 

"You weren't letting me pet your cat" Tony replied laughing, he was staring into his mashed potatoes his face as red as the Santa hat perched on Clint's head. "so I told you that she liked me better anyways" 

Steve laughed running a hand through his hair. "you wouldn't talk to me for a day-" Steve laughed. 

"You called me a jerkface!" Tony teased starting to forget that they weren't friends anymore. 

"Steve cried about it for days-" Sarah laughed which got a little whiny 'mom!' which Tony thought was adorable. 

"Steve used to cry a lot" Tony was addressing the group temporarily forgetting they probably all hated him. "Sarah always said he was very sympathetic, she said it so frequently that I thought it was a synonym for sensitive until-" 

"That's just not true-" Steve protested "you were the one who would give people the silent treatment if they as much as 'sighed too loud'" Steve said, it was fun, happy banter was scarce between the two of them recently. 

Tony rolled his eyes "The silent treatment lasted for a minute max and you know it, the tears, they could go on for hours"

"I made you cry because I said Bucky was my best friend one time-" 

"I'd probably still cry if-" Tony's voice trailed off, remembering. He cleared his throat "that was totally valid" he finished turning back to his food. Either the rest of the group didn't notice or they were kind enough to not acknowledge it, but the conversation was easier for Tony to be a part of after their short reminiscence session. 

Tony was getting ready to leave after dessert when his phone rang. 

He excused himself around the corner, but the apartment was small, he wasn't really that far away from everyone else. 

To say his fathers booming voice hurt his ear was an understatement. In fact it was so god damned loud that it caused Clint to drop the Wii remote he was holding, which Tony would make time to feel guilty about later, probably late at night staring at the ceiling basking in his sleep depravation. Out of sheer panic he hung up. Steve was staring at him, his cartoon-puppy-worthy big eyes wider than usual. 

"You shouldn't go home" he said quickly. He blurted it out before he had time to regret it. 

"okay" Tony's response was the same kind of deal. 

They stared at each other for a bit. Before Steve disappeared into his bedroom. Tony stood leaning against the hallway. He didn't want to intrude on Natasha and Clint after he clearly startled the poor guy, and based on the tiny snippet he'd heard about his home-life, it was for a very good reason. Steve rematerialized with sweat-pants and a t-shirt in his hands. 

"You're not sleeping in dress-shirt rich boy" He smirked tossing them at Tony, who was just glad he didn't fumble with the catch and drop them. That would've been embarrassing. He disappeared into the washroom. The sweatpants were embarrassingly but not surprisingly too big for him. He rolled the waist band, it made him look smaller than he already was. He wondered if that was how Steve felt as a kid. Steve had grown a ton in freshman year. For a couple of weeks Steve had thought that was why Tony wasn't talking to him, but that seemed shallow and low even for Tony. The shirt was equally loosely fitted, if not worse. He was skinny, but toned, thanks to the countless hours in his lab building stuff-- useless stuff. 

Tony emerged to the snickering of everybody around. 

"I have a shift at the hospital, however, it was lovely to see you again Tony, I hope to see you around again" Sarah smiled with a pointed look at Steve. It was awkwardly obvious. Tony wondered why Sarah didn't hate him, that was a hard one to crack.   
"You boys be good, Natasha, you're in- actually no, Bruce you're in charge, Natasha if I come home to you with charred clothes again I'm going to have a lot of questions"

Nat laughed rolling her eyes slightly "good, the moment Bruce falls asleep we can-" 

"Alright, Steve you're in charge-" Sarah laughed shaking her head in a fond way "if I come back and my house is trashed, we're trading apartments" She added pointing at the redhead. 

After a couple of movies and way too many Christmas cookies Natasha and Thor were passed out on the couch. Clint was curled up on the arm-chair, and Bruce was on the two ottomans pushed together, a little blanket over himself. Tony and Steve had been sitting on the floor. 

"So, how are you?" Steve whispered. 

Tony shrugged "Good, you?" he mumbled back. The movie was playing quietly in the background being neglected by drowsy eyes and distracted whispers. 

"Yeah, things have been good, I guess for a while I was pretty worked up about, losing you I guess-" 

Tony nodded looking at his hands "I'm really sorry Steve- I know you hate me and that's obviously not-" 

"I don't" Steve replied looking at the carpet below them. "I couldn't hate you, that's actually what was the worst part-" he muttered. 

Tony nodded wrapping his arms around his knees. "I shouldn't have- at first I was just trying to figure something out- for a week or two, and that was obviously not okay I'm not trying to justify what I did at all- I just, I guess It wasn't meant to be a big thing you know I can be sellfish and I hate myself for it- but that's- just then my mum, and obviously that's not an excuse either, but it was obviously, I got kind of depressed" Tony hadn't really rambled like this since before Rhodey left for MIT.   
"And all I wanted was to be with you- notlikethat- just- with you but I couldn't-" 

"Why? What did I do Tony? I've been trying to figure this out for the past-" 

"You didn't do anything Steve" Tony sighed. "I- god this is, this is embarrassing-" he mumbled. It's only embarrassing because it's still true a voice hissed in his head. "I- really" he was cringing as he navigated the sentence "liked you-" he swallowed awkwardly playing with the hem of his Steve's shirt. It smelled like him, which was NOT important for god sake Tony. 

"Oh" Steve said quietly. "You could have told me-" 

"I wasn't- I was-" Tony muttered "you know how my dad kind of sucks?" Tony laughed.

"understatement of the decade" Steve smiled slightly. 

"I mean, he didn't- he didn't know, but it was clear he didn't want that for me and I was panicking and I didn't want you to find out because I thought you'd hate me- which is ironic because thats what ended up happening anyways- and then also there was also the whole 'Steve's just so perfect' thing which was a little bit annoying because yeah dad I fucking know. He is perfect, the way he laughs and smiles and- okay anyways um- yeah- just-" Tony was blushing which wouldn't have been visible if they were watching a TV show that didn't have fucking snow in every scene. 

Steve was processing a lot of information. He got his answer. It definitely wasn't what he was expecting. And he wanted to forgive Tony so badly but he couldn't, could he? He wanted to turn around and kiss him, which was clearly not a good choice, Tony had emphasized the fact that it was you know, old feelings. Not current ones. 

"um, are you going to say something? Because I feel like I can't let it be silent but if I keep talking I'm going to say something really stupid, and I mean theres a lot of stupid things to say- I mean most of the things I say are stupid but there are some really stupid things I could say right now. Like compliment your jeans or something- which isn't what I actually- wait, did- anyways maybe just you know at least say 'Tony shut up you're talking way too much right now-" 

And lips were silencing his own. 

So right now was the time to forgive him. Steve's brain said. He wasn't really prepared to forgive Tony, but it was late at night, they were both exhausted, there were so many feelings and emotions. 

"That works too" Tony mumbled pulling away from the kiss wrapping his hands around Steve's neck in a dull attempt to push his back into the vertical part of the couch. This was quickly turned on him, quite literally as he felt his own back push up against the couch, uncomfortably close to the blanket that was wrapped around Natasha. 

When they pulled apart Steve was staring at him a small smile, his face almost said 'I've always wanted to do that'. 

"This is a bad idea" Tony murmured. 

Steve's face immediately flipped furrowed brow angry eyes. "What the hell Tony you can't just do that-" Steve stood up grabbing Tony's wrist pulling him to a hallway. "sorry we were going to wake someone up, What the hell Tony you can't just do that" he repeated with a little more gusto. 

"what?" 

  
"Tony you can't tell me you like me kiss me and then go back to never speaking to me- that's just not fair- why would you even come here if-" 

"It's not that I- I don't want to- I'm kind of a train-wreck and I'm- this is- you shouldn't be forgiving me Steve-" Tony muttered. 

"Tony I know- look what you did was wrong, but it could've been avoided if you just talked to me-" Steve was cupping his face and Tony felt close to tears again. Because fuck why were people touching him. "just, no more secrets" Steve said with a soft smile. 

"Are you not worried I'm going to do it again-" Tony whispered. 

"No, I'm not, because that was two years ago, and you apologized, and you sounded like you regretted it, and you're worth it Tony. You're worth so much more than you know"

"You're so much cheesier than you know" Tony said his words slurring slightly. 

"You're tired, bedtime." Steve smirked pushing him through the door into his bedroom. 

" 'm not tired, you suck jerkface-" Tony murmured as Steve shoved him onto his bed. "your bed smells like you." Tony commented rolling over to create space for Steve. 

"Yeah, I'd hope so" Steve replied "Who did you want it to smell like" Steve teased. 

Tony stuck his tongue out. 

"So you really haven't fucking changed since you were seven." 

"Steve! Language!" Tony said with a shit eating grin which received a small whack on the arm. 

Steve kept his distance as he got into his bed, which he already knew wouldn't last long because although you wouldn't expect it Tony was a cuddler. Steve used to wake up during sleepovers completely trapped under Tony, resigned to lie there awake until the little asshole woke up. 

"are you going to regret this in the morning?" Tony whispered tentatively moving closer. 

"it already is morning" Steve replied. 

"Ya think Santa came" Tony smirked. 

"Wow, you should be a comedian" 


	2. the morning after

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *you don't need to read this, it's simply a continuation because I'm bored, i probably won't extend any farther but who knows*
> 
> anyways try to enjoy!!!  
> this fic may be a bit unbelievable, but I've made up with friends in similar (non romantic) ways but I'm sure relationships work differently. All my exes are staying that way haha!  
> <3 Vivvvyyyyyy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas if you celebrate it you guys!  
> I'm going to try to fire out as many of these as I can (not chapters just fics) (unless you want chapters I do have ideas)  
> <3 V

Tony woke up early, something was trapping him, he squirmed frantically trying to see what the fuck had it's arms around his waist, or more accurately _who the fuck._ Well, in all honesty, Tony had to admit it was a mutual trapping, his own arm was wrapped around someones shoulder.

He heard a hum from the person and he paused letting himself feel where his face connected to the pillow, it was soft, familiar, warm. The smell of pancakes was wafting through the kitchen and the sheets smelt of the sun after a spring rainfall, and- childhood? Oh. Steve.

Oh. _Steve_. 

_OH FUCK STEVE._

Tony attempted to slip out of his but if Tony remembered correctly (and he always did, especially when it came to Steve) he was dealing with an incredibly light sleeper, and of course all of Steve’s friends in the hallway, _and_ Sarah Rogers who was supposedly making pancakes in the kitchen. Steve woke up shortly after and awkwardly pulled his arms back. Neither boy said anything, the two of them lay staring at Steve’s ceiling for far longer than they should have. Tony missed his old house, Steve’s bedroom with the blue ceiling.

Steve got up first (unsurprisingly) “Up ’n at ‘em Tones” He said poking the boys shoulder.

“I’m up, I’m. Up-“ Tony said his morning voice betraying his words.

It wasn’t until they walked into the crowded kitchen that Tony remembered he was _very_ out of place. He was friends with Nat (and Steve? He was still going to be kind of tentative on that fronteer) So he decided to try and focus in on Natasha, thankfully she spoke to him the moment he walked in, which saved quite a bit of trouble.

“Morning boys” Natasha waved pouring too much syrup on her waffles.   
“Nat” Steve replied taking the head of the table (without making a fuss about it this time)   
“Tasha, Donald Duck pyjamas?” Tony cocked a brow up. 

“Tones, Steve’s sweatpants that you have to roll at the waist to even barely get off the ground?” She quipped without a second of hesitation.   
“Steve you sure your not on steroids?” Tony said narrowing his eyes at Steve in feign skepticism.   
Steve rolled his eyes. “You sure your not jealous?” The blonde replied.   
“Oh no I most certainly am. That was never part of the equation, obviously” Tony smirked reaching for a waffle.   
“I do not quite comprehend as to why you all are so interested with Steve’s muscles and not mine, I too am quite ripped” Thor grumbled emptying the Nutella carton.   
“You probably popped out of the womb a full ass body builder, Steve here used to look like chicken little-“ Clint said his thumb heading over his shoulder and accidentally jabbing Steve’s cheek.

Tony took this distracted moment to open his phone. He had fourteen missed calls from his dad and a text from Jarvis demanding his location. He replied to Jarvis that he was at a friends hoping there would be no farther questions.

  
The kids cleared the table after leaving some waffles out for Steve’s mom. She’d gotten home incredibly late seeing as the woman (who’d clearly given Steve the ‘others always come first’ gene) had taken a late night-early morning shift at the hospital on Christmas Eve.

Gifts were awkward for Tony, He kind of just sat there as everyone opened presents and watched. 

His knees were pulled up to his chest as he watched everyone. 

He could see clearly why he'd done what he'd done. How could he let himself just hurt the perfect blonde over and over again. The decision kind of made sense.

The decision clearly made sense. 

Tony watched Steve stare at Clint fondness in his eyes as he ripped open a gift box. 

Tony loved the way Steve's head threw back whenever he laughed. 

Tony yearned for the warmth that he could practically feel buzzing off of the group of five. 

Tony didn't deserve it though. Tony Stark didn't _do_ affection. Stark's didn't do meaningful gifts, they did expensive meaningless gifts. Stark's didn't do care and worry, they did pity and business deals. Stark's didn't do affection and love, they did admiration and competition. Tony had made peace with that two years ago. His life was big, big but hollow. But he was lucky, and he had to be grateful for what he had. 

Steve had lost his father and was raised by a single mother struggling financially. 

Natasha has no way of contacting her parents, and was sent off to some sort of boarding-prep school at age six. Which was a disturbing thought before she even told you anything about the school. 

Clint was deaf. 

Tony didn't know the others very well but he was sure that it was something he wouldn't even be able to fathom. 

Tony had everything, so why was he _so fucking selfish._

All he ever did was want. 

_Want_ Steve. 

_Want_ what they have. 

_Want to be anybody else_. 

Tony could spend weekends surrounded by people, blacking out at parties, waking up with a girl he'd never met both Saturday and Sunday, he could talk to a thousand different people in the span of four days, so why the fuck was he so lonely. 

He was _so_ lonely. And the more he thought about it the more he was suddenly craving to be lying next to Steve again. His skin burned with craving. He felt cold. As though he wouldn't mean anything unless he could be between Steve's arms again.

How could he put that kind of weight onto Steve's shoulders? Could he even be happy if he were aware of how much of a burden he were being?

But part of Tony wanted to be selfish. He didn't want to lose Steve again. He wanted to be held. 

"Tony?" A voice cut through his train of thought. 

Tony hummed looking up, and meeting the eyes of Bruce Banner. 

"I'm about to drive Thor and I home, do you need a ride?" He smiled softly. 

"Oh no it's not far I'll walk" Tony smiled realizing he probably should change back into his damaged dress-clothes. 

"Seriously it's not a problem, I once drove like three hours out of my way to pick up a special type of Russian bread for Natasha" He laughed. 

"No, no, it's fine, my dad would freak anyways, he doesn't like people knowing where we live, which is dumb because it's called fucking Stark Grounds" 

“Right, right, yeah forgot that whole ordeal-“ Bruce said giving him another smile. 

"Wait, so if Steve was friends with the richest kid probably in the world as a child, did he like, hang out at your mansion?" Clint was suddenly interested in their conversation.

“I guess so, but not really. We spent more time at my place” Steve smiled, Tony shot him a knowing smile Steve nodded. Steve tentatively placed his forearm on Tony's shoulder which made Tony's skin scream. It begged for more contact. He thought about how he'd hugged Steve's mom and cried. He wondered if he would be able to be subtle enough about the whole touch thing for long enough without Steve figuring it out. If he stuck around for more than just today he supposed. 

“ _Why_ god I would’ve killed to have a rich friend” Clint groaned. 

"Well, for reference, one time I fell down the stairs at Tony's" He heard Tony choke a laugh back at the visual imagery of toothpick-Steve taking a tumble down the grand marble staircase. "Shut up Tony- anyways as I was saying I fell down the stairs and it made a pretty loud noise and Mrs. Stark runs in right, we were like what, seven? And she immediately says 'Dear god please tell me you didn't break the grandfather clock.'"

Clint laughed "Was there a no touching rule too? Like a museum?" He teased. 

"Yes" Both boys deadpanned. 

"Yeah, still is. But it's pretty empty now, um Howard sold most of Ma's stuff. Including her cook book which was my only chance of teaching Steve how to make pasta sauce. Kids useless in the kitchen" 

"we've noticed' Clint laughed. "I think your a good influence on Steve, un-twist his panties for me when you get the chance" He added with a smirk. 

"Shut the fuck up Barton" Steve glared.

"Um, so no ride then?" Bruce cleared his throat awkwardly. 

"oh- sorry, yeah probably not a great idea" Tony said matching his energy specifically by smiling. 

Bruce nodded. "Okay well, it was great to chat, we should talk about the Quantum Time-" 

"Please, my little brother is going to stab me if I make him wait too long, he really does get impatient-" 

Their voices trailed off. 

"We're actually heading out too then" Nat commented grabbing her bag and tossing Clint's at him. 

"You guys walking?" Tony asked standing up. 

"It's actually a floor up and a few apartments over." Nat smiled. "Must've been a typo" She added with a wink slipping out the door. 

"Hey! Nat! Wait-" Tony started but the door latch made a noise before he had a chance to even say 'fuck you' or well 'you fucking amaze me, I love you' 

"Hey look, mistletoe" Tony smirked. 

Steve glanced up "How desperate are you, that's an overhead light" 

"So no kiss" Tony pouted. 

"Should we talk first?" 

"oh fuck" Tony muttered to himself sitting on the couch. "Sure, shoot" He said smiling at Steve. 

"I just want to make sure we're on the same page, because last night was confusing. You like me, I like you, and we're I guess, a thing, no label? Or was that just, are you just bored or something" 

Tony shook his head "Bored of only being able to fucking like _you_ " he smiled. 

"but, do you like me? Straight answers only-" 

Steve rolled his eyes fondly at Tony's immature snort. 

"Yes. Steve. I really like you and I have since like seventh grade" 

"Hold on. Seventh grade? So remember in like ninth grade when I dated Sharon for like a month or whatever" 

Tony glanced sideways. "Uh huh" he bit the inside of his cheek. 

"And you kept telling me to break up with her?" 

"I don't like where this is going" Tony grumbled. 

Steve whipped out the puppy face you pull when you see something simeltaneously cute and heartbreaking "it was cause you liked me?" 

"Fuck you I shouldn't have said anything" 

"And that girl you told me about in eighth grade wasn't-" 

"No yeah that was you" 

"Did you sit in between Jane and I because-" 

"Okay shut up I didn't have any other friends and therefore by default there was nobody else around for me to like" Tony whine his cheeks flushed with embarrassment. 

"That's kind of adorable. But also really sad. Um but Tones, if this doesn't work out, can we still be friends? I've really missed you-" 

"Yeah, if I'm ever that much of a jerkface again you have full permission to beat me up and then make me talk about my feelings" Tony smirked. 

"Can I walk you home?" The blonde asked, he received a simple nod from the brunette. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> please leave any criticism, tips, advice, or let me know what you want to see or keep seeing! Always looking for help and ways to learn and improve as a writer.  
> Have a lovely day/morning/evening/afternoon/night/twoamficsession  
> yours truly,  
> Viv

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I hope you didn't hate it, drop what you'd like to see next etc etc. 
> 
> I told myself I'd do one High school Au, and here we are. I don't know what it is about them but they're more fun.
> 
> <3 Viv


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